As time gets closer to the release of Has The Lady Been Yet? I’m finding myself conflicted with how I feel about this new book. It’s something I’ve wanted to write about for a while, not least to help me work through my own feelings about the latter period of my mum’s life, and looking after her, but also to share my own insights of what it was like, which might be of some comfort or use to other’s experiencing dementia in a parent or relative. One of the major things I wanted to highlight to anyone reading is that there is hope, there are fantastic times and humour, even in the darkest periods of caring for someone with the illness, and I hope that comes through in the text. But it isn’t easy to know other people are reading about me, and us, too.
It’s been fantastic of the Liverpool Echo to post an article on the issue and my experiences, but at the same time I have a guilt that it is somehow wrong to talk about Mum as part of promoting the book in things like this. The whole book is is a raw and honest look at the experience I had for my part in caring for her, and I know Mum would have approved of what I’m doing (otherwise I wouldn’t have written it), but that doesn’t make it any easier to reconcile ‘promotion’ of something, with the deep feelings which are still so close to the surface, and which have up until now been very private.
If what I’ve written helps or comforts just one person, it will be worth it though. It is without doubt the most difficult book I’ve ever written, as there’s no hiding away behind other characters or plot twists here, and I know it’s a starkly honest memoir that reveals perhaps more than I’m comfortable with myself, but dementia, and all mental health issues, are such important areas that we all need to feel more comfortable talking about, and supportung, and hopefully this will pay its own small part in that process.
Stay safe,
Kit